Thursday, June 13, 2013
Change is Hard
It has been a rough couple of days. The kids and I are missing our friends and our old house. I knew it would happen, we were bound to hit a wall sooner or later. This was our list of complaints on Tuesday:
1. Not one neighbor has come over to introduce themselves and say hello. What did we learn from this? Remember to be sensitive to the needs of new neighbors when we see people moving into our development.
2. We live off a very busy street. My daughter and I were waiting to pull out of the development, Maddie was driving and a person from our neighborhood began blowing their horn, impatient that we weren't moving faster. What did we learn from this? The next time we are impatient with someone, remember that we don't know what's going on in their lives. For example, my daughter just got her drivers license two weeks ago at age 18. She lost a dear friend in an auto accident and refused to learn to drive when she was 15. The horn blowing could have easily caused her to pull into traffic and we would have been hit for sure.
3. My son got a speeding ticket for doing 35mph in a 25mph zone. The area was new to him and he didn't see any signs. What did we learn from this? $125 later, go slower than you normally would in an unfamiliar area.
4. We're having problems with our hot water heater. Two people can't shower at the same time or both get cold water. What did we learn from this? Try to be the first one in!
5. The air conditioning quit working in the house. What did we learn from this? I can't think of one stinking thing.
6. The internet quit working. What did we learn from this? It's a good thing to have a computer savvy son around, even though it took hours to fix, at least he could fix it.
That was just Tuesday. Both Maddie and I had complete crying meltdowns at different times that day. Moving is much harder than it appears. We grow accustomed to familiar things and change is hard. Even my son was feeling it yesterday. I felt better after I purchased some peonies at Whole Foods. I had been missing my peonies at the other house. I also found a box marked fabric and took some out to dream for a few moments about sewing again. The painter doesn't come till the 24th so theres no need to unpack the sewing room just to pack it up again. God is teaching me patience in all kinds of new ways right now. I hope you don't mind me venting. You help me to keep things in perspective.
Posted by Sewn With Grace at 4:05 PM
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I am so sorry you are having such a rough time! I have never had a neighbor come over and introduce themselves when I moved in. I have tried to get to know new neighbors as they have moved into my culdesac, but they have no desire to know me. It's so sad! We're moving to a small town in MO this fall, I'm hoping it will be different! Once you get settled and start unpacking, things will get better. I'll say a prayer for you!ReplyDelete
So sorry about your day. My daughter recently got her license too and we have the same problem with people not realizing that she is a newly licensed teen driver. People have honked at her, passed her on a double solid line all because she was driving at the proper speed limit. Wish adults could set better examples...you are right though, we do need to learn and practice patience. Sure hope some neighbors come over to greet you with a warm welcome!ReplyDelete
I have moved quite a bit too in the last 10 years. 9 times to certain and not done yet with the military. I definitely can relate. I really like how you are trying to *learn* from each situation. That is very Godly of you! I think we all struggle in that area from time to time. Praying that u meet new friends and the neighbors are sweet to you:)ReplyDelete
Peonies are my favorite too. Wish they had some around here! I would snatch them up in a heartbeat! Enjoy them:):)
We didn't have AC in the upstairs of our house for three weeks until yesterday. We rent, though, so we had to wait on the landlord. Moving is hard--I'm an Army wife and we have moved 14 times. Our next one should be the last. Maybe. It never gets easier, though. I'm glad you are trying to learn from things. (Tell your daughter that I have people blowing their horns at me all the time, but I refuse to pull out when I don't think it is safe.)ReplyDelete
Oh what a horrible day... Wish I could just give you a hug :-) We moved 3 years ago and it is hard, and I know it sounds cliched, but things will get better. Whilst you will always miss your friends, you will make some lovely new ones - it just takes time to get settled in. Hang in there and just know that God has you all safely in His hands. You're in my prayers too. And you know, we had new neighbours move into our street a few weeks ago and because I've been away on holiday etc etc, I've only given them a wave as they've passed - but reading your post now has encouraged me to rectify that and tomorrow I will make a point of actually popping over to say hello & meet them. Thanks for the reminder of just how important that is. Be blessed, love Gilly xxReplyDelete
I read with interest you blog post above. I felt your angst and disappointment. I'm praying that things will begin to smooth out for you and your family. I really appreciate the Godly example you are setting for your kids.ReplyDelete
Gollies, I'm sorry things are on the rough side right now. Change is hard and the road can be filled with potholes. Be gentle and kind with your self. Its OK to be frustrated and sad. Be assured things will get better. Hang in there.ReplyDelete
Have a better day.
Miss you Rene! Head to Zingerman's and get some yummy food and treats:) They make the best bread, and everything else, even candy bars. Praying for you and your family. Change is very hard. Reminds me of how the Lord calls us to be comformable, not comfortable. Philippians 4:13!ReplyDelete
I actually had a neighbor come over to tell me " we dont do coffee in this neighborhood". Nice huh?ReplyDelete
Moving is so tough. Thank God I've only moved a couple of times, but I have friends who've moved a lot. I'm sorry you're having a rough time getting settled but it will happen. Sounds like you have a start to a great newspaper op/ed piece: "How To Be A Good Neighbor."ReplyDelete
Hopefully, at least one neighbor will welcome you to the neighborhood. If not, I suppose it would be acceptable to walk over and introduce yourself. Then again, you never know who your neighbors are in this day and age. Tough call.
Thanks for seeing the roses among the thorns. That is all we can do when life gives us lemons is to make lemonade. You will be fine with a good attitude like yours. Patience is one of the hardest isn't it? Me too!ReplyDelete
I love how you are turning the "changes" into good! Your positive outlook is inspiring!ReplyDelete
Hoping that tomorrow will be a joyful day and maybe a neighbor will visit you this weekend!
It is difficult moving to a new place, though I feel in time, you will make some wonderful friends. Things will eventually become more and more like home for you.ReplyDelete
As far as the hot water goes, you may want to consider in the future (and if it's in your budget) to move to a tankless hot water heater. Once the water is hot, you can run it hot all day long and with several different people running the hot water in the house. It never ends :)
At least you can see life's lessons in all of the inconveniences at present. These things will straighten themselves out ....I just know it :)
So sorry you have had such a hard move. We have moved many times and I must say the experience has always brought our family closer. Neighbors usually come around when you are out in the yard~ wash your car, plant a plant, walk around the block, or just sit and read a bit since the AC is on the blink. Hope things pick up soon!ReplyDelete
I'm sorry your move and all the changes have been so hard thus far. People do forget that just the physical parts of moving are overwhelming--the subtleties of changes in culture from one area to another add more stress--as does everything else that goes wrong at a time when we need things to go smoothly.ReplyDelete
I'll never forget the woman who had recently moved and informed me, "I have no intention of making any new friends. We'll just have to move again anyway." I hope you find wonderful new friends very soon and that circumstances smooth out quickly. You are to be commended for trying to find something to learn from each tough moment.
I moved from a small town in upstate NY to a small town in IL seven years ago. I moved from a very friendly neighborhood to one where no one welcomed me when I moved in and I still don't know them very well. I tried to be friendly with people in my neighborhood and at work, and I was labeled rude and pushy for being "too friendly". It was a rough move, but I am near my family. It took me a couple of years and now I have some wonderful friends, so hang in there and you will find some wonderful friends too. If I were your neighbor, I would ask you over for tea or wine and we would have a good time!ReplyDelete
Isn't it interesting how we must learn to humble ourselves and listen more closely to what he is asking. I look forward to more familiarity too...smiles..ReneeReplyDelete
I feel your pain - we moved about two years ago and I still miss "home". My son is thriving in his new school, so that helps. My online quilty friends keep me entertained even if no neighbors are overly friendly. Things will get better... for all of us! Hang in there!!ReplyDelete
I had a good old laugh at number 5! thank you. I had a crappy day too :)ReplyDelete
I have a pile of lecien just like the top of your one in nice ribbon. Gee it looks nice.
Sorry to hear you had (have?) such a hard time moving. I experienced it twice, moving to different countries. I hope you'll meet nice people soon, they're always there, sometimes it takes them a bit longer to make themselves known :-) best from IstanbulReplyDelete
Moving can be so hard, hope it gets better soon! I am glad you have your daughter and son close to you!ReplyDelete
So sad! I too have moved around all my life. When my daughter started driving, I put a "new driver" notice in the back window. If new neighbors aren't coming to you, try going to them. I have done this in one or two neighborhoods and was very happy that I did.ReplyDelete
Hang in there,
So sorry it was so rough for you. People are just too impatient. Hope your daughter remembers she doesn't have to go just cause they blow. I live in an area where people drive like crazy people. They pull out as if daring you to hit them.ReplyDelete
We live in the country so no really close neighbors. Hope yours will be friendly.
Good luck to you all.
Wow, sounds like a challenging season for you. I pray for an extra sense of God's love and presence as you adjust. By the way, I love your blog background and design. Did you do it yourself or have it designed?ReplyDelete
I stumbled on your blog, and just wanted to say Hi! And that I love all your quilts and creativity! I'm joining a local quilting class and will look to your quilts for inspiration. I too have a daughter (my youngest child) just graduated from HS and going off to college in the fall. I am enjoying the summer with her, but at the same time, trying to think of things to occupy myself with :) - Nice to meet you!
Oh I am so sorry you are having a hard time! We have lived in this house for 31 years and even though I dream of moving to a bigger house with less yard, I know I would have a very very hard time letting go of this one. It isn't perfect, but it has been our home for so long...ReplyDelete
Things will get better, I know they will. You'll find a church, meet people (even if you have to be the one banging on the door with cookies!) and get your studio set up for sewing. You'll make new memories in this place. Go ahead and cry once in a while, we all need to do that sometimes, but know that eventually you'll be smiling. The Ann Arbor area is so full of fun things to see and do!
I came to your blog from pintrest somehow. Your quilts are beautiful, as is your blog. I'm so glad I found such a lovely place to visit.ReplyDelete
So in lieu of your welcoming new neighbors, consider this a neighborly visit!
Oh Renee I am so sorry you and your family are hurting right now. Change is so hard on almost everyone, I really feel for you and know how lonely it is to be in a place where you don't know anyone. I hope and pray that you are able to get involved at church and eventually get to know a few of your neighbors. I will be praying for you and your family.ReplyDelete
hi Renee, I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Big hugs to you and sending up prayers for you and your family :)ReplyDelete
Hi Renee, we have moved many times and it is always difficult. You seem to be doing a great job of trying to see what God is teaching you from this. The main thing I learned (and there are too many to list) is that God has wonderful new people he wants you to love and to love you back in this new place. If you hadn't moved, you would never know them. I'm on house number 10 in our 33 years of marriage. It will get better, eventually. Don't expect to feel like you fit in for approximately 2 years and find a church ASAP!ReplyDelete